Dear Abby,
I know you probably have heard many people with the same problems as me, and I need your help. Its not a problem that will be easy to fix, but will take time and much thinking. I have came to a conclusion that I am not happy with my life. Even though I have a great husband and two beautiful children, I find myself depressed constantly. Living the life that most people would dream about just isn’t for me. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Actually, yes I do. Its the constant struggle of living a life where I don’t like my role. Being my husbands virtual pet is not the kind of person I want to be. You haven’t even heard the worst part yet. I’m not even sure if I love my kids. These are the things that constantly bring me to tears. I don’t know whats the best thing for me to do. If you have any advice that could possibly make me happy, it would be greatly appreciated.
Ms. Mid Life Crisis
acon84 
Dear Ms. Mid Life Crisis,
I must say, reading this was something i was not expecting. I am here to help you, but one thing is for sure, as a mother you must love your children. You shouldbe a proud mother of your children and be thankful that you have been blessed with the wonderful gift of your children. Next I suggest that you talk to your husband and let him know where you stand. Abandoning your family is an awful thing to do and can easily end in disaster. If you truly no longer wish to be with your husband, then explain to why this is and agree on the both of you doing something that can both make you happy, even if that means getting a divorce. Talk things out with the people closest to you. You will be surprised by how well they will listen when you truly need them.
Sincerely.
Abby
Dear Ms. Mid Life Crisis,
Many people are unhappy with their lives. If you do not like your role in life then do something about it. You need to take control of your life and stand up for yourself. Do not continue to live your life so passively. Instead be the hammer, and tell people how you feel. Do not be afraid of what others will think. They will have to be okay with it. It is sad to hear that you no longer love your kids. Your life should be a life filled with happiness with your husband and children. If your life is not like this, make it that way. Tell your husband you do not want to live as his virtual pet. Let him know how you feel. In a time like this, people will actually listen to you.
Abby
Pingback: In defiance of the mid-life crisis.. | mazmeekcoms
What a sad blog. I always think that the hardest thing about depression is admitting to someone else that you have it and that your view of life is not as perhaps “it should be” or “is expected of you”. However, you have taken this first step just in writing this blog and although I realise I am a little late in coming across it and therefore replying to it, I felt I had to. You say that you do not love your kids but as a mother of two adopted children with undiagnosed disabilities when they first came to us (one Autism the other ADHD), because they did not fit the perfect fantasy I had created of them prior to adoption, I went through a time with both of them feeling that I did not love them. The guilt I also felt was indescribable but I realised that in order to be able to love them for who they were, I first had to allow myself to grieve for the children they were not. I also had a very difficult time with my husband a few years ago due to his insecurities – which he off-loaded onto me so understand what it feels like to be so unhappy and trapped in your own life. All of these things left me very depressed for a long time and it took a lot of courage to finally say “I can’t do this anymore, something has to change”. I started by telling my husband how unhappy he made me feel and then seeking some counselling myself to learn to love my children. I am glad to say that step by step, I put myself back together. One of the most inspiring and enlightening things I did was a course on re-discovering my creativity. Having this outlet by way of drawing, writing and just being more aware of all the creativity around me helped me to heal and see positivity in my life again. I am pleased to say I love my children with all my heart now (I think I always did, I just needed to learn how to show it) and my marriage is stronger and better and an equal partnership now. If you haven’t already, please find the courage to tell someone how you feel and ask for help. You may not be able to, or wish to, fix your marriage but your children need you and in order to love them as they deserve, you must first love yourself.